THE ACRONYMS OF INTIMACY: HOW TO NAVIGATE MODERN INTIMACY

We love our acronyms. We love to invent and modify our vocabulary. The colloquial becomes colloquial, and it seems as if every generation tries to define themselves through their own developed vernacular.

Letters Don’t Make Love. People Do.

I used the term “make love.” It happens from time to time. The urge to get close. Real close. Feel that bond. There are moments between people, not necessarily bonded for long but perhaps by intensity. The phrase has slipped out of my mouth from time to time.

Be careful, though with the starker side of intimacy. The need to classify and label.

It’s all too easy to label. GFE. PSE. DFK. A number of letter combinations that people use to describe intimacy from the conversation to bare-skin moments. Oh, how the alphabet can cheapen pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Call me old-fashioned but generalizing intimacy is like generalizing wine…its something to special and unique to brush with too wide of strokes.

Let’s Not and Say We Never Did. Oh, But We Did.

I think we have all been guilty of cheapening our own experiences. Its too easy not too. How do we now its special if we haven’t tasted the other side?

The awkwardness of a stranger, we have all had the sex-by-alphabet experience, and I am not referring to Sam Kinison. Its the called “the girlfriend experience” not “the girlfriend” for a reason. A mimic of out-of-body. A part of you is not there even in the conversation. It glides to easily, without scratching the surface. A part of you goes through the motions, deftly, of course and unsuspecting. Sex is sex after all, still good in the worst of times. Its why you just want it, and the “intimacy” is merely flesh meeting.

Acknowledge it. Own it. Then find the enrichment that puts it and you front and center. Its still good…

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Bedroom…

Magic does happen. Stars do align. Good becomes fantastic. Unbelievable. The best part is that it can happen in minutes, and not necessarily taking years to unfold. I think they call it, “enchantment.” The enchantment often likes quietly in what is hidden, waiting for the right moment to blossom.

However, it doesn’t happen without openness and vulnerability. You give to receive. Though it may not be 1:1, your level of openness to the unknown, the ability to relax into our own insecurities and those unfamiliar situations, will allow the enchantment in. Let’s face it, we all need a little enchantment in our lives…

I v. WE: FINDING & BUILDING THE ARCHITECTURE OF HAPPINESS

Lately, I have been having these weird dreams about my ex-husband. It happens from time to time, so I thought I would look a bit deeper and talk to you about it.

Relationships is that social architecture that continues to be studied, and in some facets, remains a mystery. What makes relationships dynamic is the imperfection of the people in them. This is not a slight on anyone, but another opportunity, to look at love differently. It is easy to see this dynamic as a dichotomy; I v. we. It is no secret that no matter what you accomplish as an “I”, an average “we” is better.

Listen to my Sunday’s thoughts and I would love to hear yours.

THE MEASURE OF A BETTER MAN: INTEGRITY DEFINED

Over time, we are exposed to enough experiences, that integrity, the values we espouse and aspire to, are defined for us. We don’t have to search to deeply for the answers.

Secondary Thinking First. What Separates the Men from the Boys.

We are quick to react because our attention spans are weak. You react to images, and with quick response time, satisfy the ego. It is immediate. In that moment, you feel it, so you say it. A normal reaction, many would say. However, understanding the consequences of any action or statement makes all the difference; thinking further into a conversation, what may be implied.

Maturity doesn’t know age. There are men in their 50’s who struggle too, with emotionally intelligent behavior, and men in their 30’s who recognize the significance in how words and actions, no matter how small or big, often have unintended consequences. Older doesn’t always mean wiser.

I would like to think its men v. boys.

Old School Values That Never Get Old.

There are some values that are timeless. “Say what you mean, mean what you say.” Be someone, whose word is bond, but not just in cherry-picked situations. It is not about perfection but progress. A cornerstone of masculinity is strength, both in physicality and emotional.

Generational values mean something. We may live in a world that often forgets and forgives shortsighted behavior, but being a man of substance, of integrity means behaving that way when nobody is watching. There is a higher standard to pass on. Be the man you envision your best self to be.

Progress not perfection.

NYC RESTAURANT FOOD & WINE SPOTLIGHT: CRAFT KNOWS ITS CRAFT

It is funny. you could live in a city for a long time and only recently discover a foodie institution. That is how I felt about my dining experience at Craft, Tom Colicchio’s restaurant. I have only been there twice, once for a Stalworth Winery wine dinner, which was obviously an organized event, and then for dinner this past week.

As the cost of dining out continue to rise, you become much more selective because the overall experience matters. Restaurants have to walk a very delicate line. Profit margins are already razor thin. Building and maintaining a loyal customer base, and finding ways to be creative without cutting corners becomes a true art during leaner times.

Service: Unpretentious, Warm and Knowledgeable

I can always forgive average food if the service is impeccable, and knowledgeable without pretense. I love when people genuinely take pride in their job. This was the case at Craft. The manager, hostess, Somm and waitstaff were all there because they genuinely seem to enjoy creating a true environment of hospitality. The noise level was lively but not obnoxious, making it great for dates or business meetings.

Our waiter was happy to offer suggestions, which is never a surprise but when you can sense the candor in the suggestions, that is even more appreciated.

Note: I didn’t sit at the bar, but although it is small, I would definitely come here solo. It felt as welcome as the judiciously spaced tables.

Food: Simple Is and Simple Does – Flavorful and Streamlined

Personally, I always favor a small, seasonally-based menu. It shows careful and artisanal thought. While some of the options were sold out, it was evident in both presentation and taste, that only the best proteins and ingredients are sourced. Food sourced from the highest quality farms and vendors, doesn’t need a great deal of pomp and circumstance. My date and I shared a perfectly peppery arugula salad and octopus, which was so succulent. I had Quail, with perfectly crispy, browned skin and moist meat. We shared the au gratin which was just rich enough.

I haven’t even mentioned the book. A leather bound story of wine and liquors from all over the world. The wines are painstakenly selected for exploration, not just for expense accounts. The first thing I look for in a restaurant is their wine and cocktail list. My St. George martini was delicious as was the 2019 Domaine Weinbach Grand Cru Schlossberg riesling.

The pomp and circumstance was all from my mouth. Restraint is an art form in the culinary world.

Ambience: Lively without being Obnoxiously Loud

The noise level at a restaurant is more important than we often realize. Whether we are out for reasons of business, pleasure or flying solo, the low buzz of conversation is always nice, without being at club levels. Conversation with each other, with strangers is so important, and makes a meal special.

At Craft, you will find that perfect buzz. People are intoxicated by the relaxed upscale atmosphere, crafty cocktails and epicurean momentum.

One syllable says it all.