ARE WE IN A SEXUAL RECESSION?

Recently I listened to the Impact Theory podcast whose guest was Sex Therapist Emily Morse. What was interesting immediately, is that there were some non-sexual points like balancing your identity that seem to be the catalyst for why sex, or intimacy for that matter, has found its way to the bottom of the proverbial “to do” list. Basically, the more confident and centered you are within yourself, the better you can relate in connection with others. That’s obvious though, right?

We can never let the power of touch lose its potency, so why do we?

Intercourse Aside…Are We Addressing The Changing Dynamic Between Men and Women?

Have men and women lost their desire because of shifting priorities or the redefinition of intimacy? As a Gen-Xer, in high school and college, I always had longer-term boyfriends, knowing that marriage was on the radar. In fact, I married the man I met the first day of my last semester in college. Though I have been divorced for over a decade, I have noticed that younger generations have a different feeling on dating and relationships. In fact, I would argue there is such a realistic view on relationships that non-serious, sexually-based connections, are called “situationships.” The bond that makes it “relational” doesn’t always exist. Women have a bolder view of their sexuality and the idea of “settling down” is not necessarily on the forefront. Perhaps its predictable, as the younger, digitally native generations rebel in the face of older generations. The desire, “goal” to be in a monogamous relationship, get married and have kids, “settle down” is no longer assumed. Sexual autonomy is much stronger as the access to information is so much faster and easier to consume. Relationships are no longer linear. Cum to think of it, neither is experimentation.

It is not surprising if some men feel a little deflated or even intimated by this bolder approach. Men, after all, have always typically been in control. It was easier, when there wasn’t so much noise in the atmosphere between social media and dating apps.

Intercourse of Sex & Love: The Messiness of Intimacy

On the other hand, while some say that sex is further down the “to do” list, intimacy is a different matter. We have to be brave enough to venture into the stickiness of touch, listening and loving boldly. After all, what is living life if not to have vivid memories – bad, good and ugly?

Me Before You: Relationomics

Regardless of your dating health, “I” comes before “you.” As overplayed as it sounds, focus on becoming the best version of you. Then focus, on the kind of person you ant to attract. While, online dating has grown exponentially since the mid 2000’s, in 2023, only 13% got engaged or married from dating apps and 7.2% had a relationship that lasted between 6 – 12 months.

One could say that it is the volatility of dating apps, and social media that exacerbates anxious behavior, making people more withdrawn and struggling in social situations.

When you look at those stats, the best bet you could make is on yourself. In the meantime, practice makes perfect with your favorite professional companion. That is one way to keep any kind of recession at bay.