life lessons,  philosophy


I recently read the Chris Voss book, ” Never Split the Difference.” It has many brilliant points on the subject of negotiating but calls out that compromise is a losing proposition.

Thinking about it more deeply, I would agree.

Compromise is Zero Sum.

We are taught to believe that compromise is a good thing. The idea that each party makes a concession to find their way to a “happy medium” If you look at the time you have “compromised” in your life, really examined it, are you happy that you did? Did it bring an overall better outcome for you? I am willing to bet money, it did not.

The Difference Between Good to Great.

I believe there is a reason why the 1% is just 1%. Innovation is not happening on a grander scale. We settle for good because good is fine. Good works. It is not bad. Isn’t great being gluttonous? This is where compromise comes in. We settle for safe.

The Great Divide

It is not just a geographical marvel. Great does divide us from the good. Great feels unattainable where good is easily within our reach. A compromise settles things without too much disruption. Yet, are we left feeling victorious? Did we put in our best effort? Were we willing to feel pain or struggle to get there? Perhaps this is why we look up to athletes and the Military elite, because they understand what it takes to get there, without shortcuts. The mind succeeds over matter to significant results. The pain is not hurt but growth.

We get there by not compromising. The end result, we are so confident in, that accepting a middle ground can’t be satisfactory. This, like most lessons in life, comes down to mindset.

Are there times I wish I had a passionate husband? Achieving all of my goals? Yes. I just keep forging ahead, despite any setbacks. I have taken the route of compromise and like Chinese food, it gives you a false sense of feeling satiated.

Whatever it is you want in your life. Be honest with yourself. Good is fine but it will never be great.

I'm a writer and a lover not a fighter, except if I really want something.

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