I have a good friend who is single, male and v. eligible and yet, all he does is complain about how difficult it is to meet women – despite the fact that he lives in a young, beach community. In solidarity, I joined a dating app for a 1 month trial.
Listen in to my audio note to learn more about what I think of dating in this modern age. I still think the old school rules apply. I’m an old school kind of girl.
I quickly learned that the dating apps, in particular are designed like all of social media – to give you that like, that quick Dopamine hit. Needless to say, I won’t be renewing. My friend made his point.
Swipe left, swipe right and that determines our compatibility?
-Don’t put so much pressure on yourself. Its a date not the woman you will be with for the rest of your life. Relax. Personally, it takes me at least 4 dates before I decide if I like you. She is probably as nervous as you are.
-Be confident. Life is too short. We all have insecurities. If you don’t put yourself out there, you will never know. Dating is risky, sure, but it is also an adventure and more importantly, a way to get to know yourself. Opening yourself up will help you continue to hone those critical life skills.
-Its the journey that matters, not the destination. While it may feel that the purpose to dating is to meet your mate, let me underscore, the point that it is really a way to get to know yourself.
Intimacy is a tricky thing especially when we are vulnerable. We can often mistake the desire for “it” rather than the person.
I have been lucky in life, when it comes to men. Yes, I wear my heart on my sleeve, while still taking my time. I married a man who was pretty awesome for 7 years, had a few really deep and interesting, longer term relationships. I met them all in different ways, and because of them I am better than I was before I met them. Again, what I walked away with was a deep understanding of who I am and what I want. It is that clarity that leads you to finding someone truly worthwhile.
In the meantime, make the best out of the wrong ones! There is always an opportunity to grow.
Music mood: Led Zeppelin ” Ramble On”