We can’t help ourselves. Lying. There are so many euphemisms for it, that’s how second to our nature it is….sweet nothings, bending the truth, little white lies, tall tales. Whether we choose to cop to it or not, lying is like our daily coffee and research suggests, that it something done on the daily. Sure, the lies we tell vary in their severity – from the tiny ones to the deeper, potentially life-changing ones.
Lying even has cultural lines drawn. According to a survey, only half of elderly Korean-Americans, thought they should be told the truth about a life-threatening illness, in comparison to 90% of Americans from Europe and Africa, wanting to be told the truth.
Common ground exists. Where do we drawn the line?
Intention is Usually Altruistic.
The fact that lying can be reason and just part of life, tells us that we do it for the protection and sake of another. It could be as innocent and telling someone their new haircut or outfit looks good, how much something costs, to more intricate and deeper issues such as financial, health or infidelities. In fact, “fake positive lies” are 10 to 20 times more common than lies with vindictive intention.
There is comfort in the idea of protecting someone’s feelings. In any situation, weighing the pros and cons of a lies v. honesty. Interestingly, women are more likely to lie to protection the good name of altruism than men, who will like abut themselves. In the search for reason, intention is a necessary part of our rationale, balancing unbridled emotion. Secondary thinking is critical in these situations, regardless of who or what we are lying to and about. Understanding, what the consequence of consequence could be in any situation. On the grander sale, honesty v. lying is rarely that simple.
Objects in the Mirror…
Don’t get me wrong, I do believe lying has its place, especially in the spirit of non-confrontation. Truth and honesty are nuanced behaviors. It is the extremes of truth-telling and deception that is hard to swallow. In fact, one could argue that those extremes are more similar than they are different, manipulation being the common ground.
The consequences of both behaviors is the quality of trust. It is the risk we take in the name of good intention, and sweet nothings.
Music mood: Lana Del Rey ” Money Power Glory”