Communication in the Raw

How often do we say what feel? When we speak, in conversation privately, or when giving a presentation or speech publicly, impact matters. The awareness of the energy of our audience, is critical and palpable.

Creating rapport is more difficult than it looks. People tell me that I talk a lot, and I do, but I also know that when meeting people for the first time, someone has to be the catalyst for conversation. I know a little about a lot of topics and my curiosity has probably killed alot of cats! I truly enjoy learning about what makes people tick…from my waitress to my best friend and the person sitting next to me on the plane.


We all know that moment. It is the moment the conversation is elevated, that we can relax and let our guards down. The bond has been born, and no matter how temporary it is, it feels authentic and natural. There isn’t a person in the world that doesn’t want to be related to or understood.

A conversation, as simple as it can be, is the lifeline to to healthy, productive relationships- both personal and professional. Nothing makes me happier than when I sense the energy of my conversational counterpart who opens themselves up and we are able to move to the next level. It is not so much about knowing everything about you, but more about having a deeper sense of who you are.


I have been building client relationships since I was 19, when I had my first sales job. As the nature of relationships become more complex, you understand that perception is not the reality but only the beginning of it. How do we take the rapport we build to generate a desired action?

Empathy is the key. It is a simple concept but execution is not so simple. Understanding the motivation of what we perceive is the catalyst to creating win/win scenarios. If we ignore that, than very little or nothing gets accomplished that is productive and positive for all involved.

Take a step back. Understand the motivation of the behavior not the words. We are not always good at articulating ourselves, and sometimes we look to the other person to ” just get what we are trying to say.” Also, that motivation is often just a basic need for attention.


Building rapport takes work. Like anything in life, the people good at it, make it look easy. There is no complicated equation for successful relationships.

The choice always exists to determine what is worth building. Personally, I encounter the complexity of human behavior up close and personal. The worst and the best, rolled into one. It is in my nature to see the good in everyone. In many of my established relationships, I choose to see past the negative or particularly selfish.

I understand that communication leaves people vulnerable. It is the vulnerability that provides the richness to quality rapport and relationships that we ultimate seek.

In the wise words of Michael Scott, ” if you dig long enough in a conversation, you will get to a friend.”

Music mood: GnR ” Patience”

I'm a writer and a lover not a fighter, except if I really want something.

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