Time.  It seems to be the stock answer to everything that ails us, whether its a physical pain, dieting, relationships or work issues.  Give it time. Have patience.

Anything worth having takes time.

While I believe patience has its virtues,sometimes I think its just an avoidance tactic.  Are we just being lazy?  Do we think our problems/emotions will dissipate with time?    I am sure its not consciously done but if we don’t address what ails us, will time really heal it?

I’m not sure there is a one-size-fits-all approach.    I do believe in the cliche that “absence can make the heart grow fonder” but can too much distance and time backfire and create a void?

Shame is what I think about when someone wants distance.  It could be how we behaved or what we said that causes us to ask for distance.  It is easier to shut out our own misdeeds then expend emotional energy trying to analyze and ultimately recognize them.   It is easy enough to say ” the past is the past.”

At what point  does the shame turn to regret?  When we do feel safer emotionally, then we can examine our actions more clearly?

Furthermore, isn’t the point to allow ourselves to let go, be vulnerable and take the risk of experiencing the pain?    I use the metaphor of  a garden.  The best blooms come from care and attention.    There are some species of flowers that are notoriously hard to care for but persistence will change that.   However, if given too much space, they wilt and die. Then there will always be those very special and rare species of flowers who do everything at their own pace, regardless of what you try and do.

Courage to act. Courage to fail. Courage to find the resilience. Be brave and let your garden grow.

Music mood:  Rufus del Sol ” Treat you better”

Neurally yours,

the constant gardner xo