The minute I walked in, the Reiki coach told me I have a huge and generous heart. I sat down, feeling stoic, or at least wanting to appear to be. My hands remained on my lap in prayer form. I listened to her. She guided the conversation. I was the patient.
Then I began to cry.
It wasn’t anything in particular that she said, but the tears flowed naturally. My energy was sensitive and jumpy. Perhaps the timing was was perfect for a bit of cleansing.
Every day I give of myself. Whether its through my writings, or with clients, I remain as true as I can be with strangers, as I am with my closest family and friends. It can feel effortless in the moment and then all of the sudden, when you are alone, you feel exhausted.
I’ve been searching for spiritual rejuvenation outside of my daily prayers. A way to bridge my religious and my spiritual side. As I get older, I realize how important the two are, working together. This is what creates true internal harmony. Faith in God and faith in myself, my own energy and the energy of the Divine. The holy Trinity – fallible man, infallible God and the Spirit linking both.
She instructed me to lay on the table. Incense filled the room, teasing and provoking my sense to be still. I listened to the sound of her voice repeating the meditation, and slowly the room quieted and her voice felt farther away, yet I could still feel her hands on me. A deep, stabbing pain began in my head. Her hands, which started out cool grew intensely warmer on my skin. She cradled my neck, firmly placed her palms on my thighs and the world no longer was mine. I was inside myself not laying on a table. The stabbing pain remained but the pain took on a different dynamic. It wasn’t aggravating my body it was pushing through the mental and emotional waste. The extraneous thoughts, that I have no control over but somehow take up too much of my intellectual and emotional capacities, just because I want to keep my mind busy.
You may be too busy to have such deep thoughts or maybe you dismiss them. It is easier to project our energy and time onto others than it is to take it inward. Perhaps the closest you may come is to reading my thoughts.
In the meantime, I will appreciate every step of the journey. I hope you enjoy the ride.
Music mood: The Scorpions ” Winds of Change”
your chakras xo