If you read this diary from the beginning, my life was an open book. There was a period in my life where I felt like I was in boot camp. In retrospect that is what it was. I transformed myself both physically and mentally. The end result was that I was more self-aware and had much sharper instincts. I don’t regret a minute of it, even if that person that was the catalyst was a wolf in sheep’s clothing.
Recently, they came back into my life for a brief period. I had alot of ambivalent feelings about it. I discussed it with a close friend who knew us both and he warned me. Initially I brushed his warnings aside. There were some helpful and sharp insights being shared and offered. I knew him best after all and I wanted to believe things could be different. The funny thing about intention is that sometimes life has its own funny way of revealing what’s best or maybe its just the hold that some people have over you will never change. Never is a long time but it is also as long as you wish to maintain the relationship. In the end I made a hard choice. I never responded to his request, though I said I would.
I debated if I had made an error in judgement in not providing any kind of explanation and not fulfilling my word. Sometimes silence is the only appropriate answer. Sometimes the golden opportunity only present itself after the silence.
Music mood” “Enjoy the Silence” Depeche Mode
two ears, one mouth xo