The Nuance of Need
Lately, I have found myself being challenged emotionally. In those times, I tend to retreat a bit and spend a fair bit of time re-examining certain aspects of my life. A bit of self-reflection does a body good.
You put your entire self into a situation because you really want to build relationships and connect with people. Ok, I speak for myself. The desire is genuine to make a positive impact because making someone smile, relieving them of momentary stress, is frankly, better than any orgasm. The feeling of contentment lasts much longer. Where the struggle happens is when that tank is running close to E. I hold myself to a high set of standards. I find myself feeling guilty for wanting that need for reciprocated. I admire those who continually give of themselves without a thought of their own desires.
I have rationalized it that in those times of my own neediness, my antenna is slight bent. In those moments I am inwardly focused and therein lies the disconnect within the context of my relationships. Ever the optimist, it isn’t long before I realize that within that disconnect there is an opportunity to reconnect. It may or may not be with the same individual but there is always an opportunity to start over.
I always look on the bright side.
A final thought: being needy isn’t always a drawback. I reckon that in neediness there is vulnerability. In vulnerability there is strength.
Music mood: Brent Cobb: “black creek”
Maslow’s apprentice xo