It’s Christmas Eve.  This Holiday season is testing my faith.  Of course, we are all tested at different points in our lives.  Our character.  Our integrity.  We are not infallible.

People say they forgive but they harbor that negative emotion in a different part of themselves.  A place deep enough that they don’t have to think about or feel it.  Then,   we are tested and we wonder why we fail.

In the new year, we all commit to challenging our physical selves.    We forget about our emotional/mental well-being.   We can argue that the two are tied together but the reality is that if we don’t push our emotional spirit it is easy to lose faith.

It’s hard to push ourselves emotionally and in uncomfortable ways.  The return/reward doesn’t happen as quickly as you would see after a physical workout.

I could tell you that I practice selflessness but the truth is I have fallen down so many times.  I could tell you that I am full of faith but there are times that having control or the illusion of having control is frankly, a more comforting space. I always find a way to get back up..even if it means I am hobbling for a bit.

We expect failure.  We expect selfishness. We expect hubris.  The good, the vulnerable   is what makes us uncomfortable.  We can talk about surrender and vulnerability as if it is a trophy to be won.  The truth is that this part of the journey never really ends.   What we learn in those moments are  life-changing lessons we never forget, though we may, from time to time, forget to put them into practice.

The intangibility of faith is a reminder that there is always another chance.

Music mood:  Hozier – ” It will Come Back” – “Don’t give it a hand, offer it a soul.”

Yours truly,

O