You have been on my mind lately.  Perhaps its because Im finally doing it.  I am finally  building something substantial, as you always believed I would.  I haven’t mourned for you in 7 years.  I remember thinking the pain in my heart, in my gut, would never go away.  Time truly does heal the deepest of wounds but those memories never die, they become more of a comfort, like an old and warm blanket. It feels like they were yesterday.  Those late nights, coming by your office after work with take out. We would eat and dance to Frank Sinatra before you were jetting off to some far corner of the world. “Fly Me to the Moon” will never be the same for me.

Why after 7 years are you entering the foreground of my thoughts?  Then it hit me. You were the first to really believe in me for the person I am and the person I am capable of being. You saw things in me I couldn’t see in myself and articulated them.  You accepted me for the sexually open adventurer I was, still am.  I loved being able to share with you but ultimately, even with all others, nothing came close to our time together.  You believed in my personal legend.  I am rereading The Alchemist now, the book you bought for me.  I remember you told me I was Fatima.

Your presence is comforting for me at time when everything is on the table.  I know I am ready for it.  I’m not scared anymore.

When I need you, you are just a short prayer away….

And…I would have said “yes.”

Music mood:  Frank Sinantra – “Fly Me to the Moon…”
“Fly me to the moon
Let me play among the stars
Let me see what spring is like
On Jupiter and Mars”

Yours,
Me