Submission is a natural part of me.  What I have become more cognizant of as I begin to play more as a submissive, is that there are varying degrees of submission I am able to give depending on the situation and the connection.   When you are unpartnered in the lifestyle as a Dom or sub, this can be a bit confusing at first because p/e and kink can create heady and overwhelming emotions.  That is why it is just as important to talk about aftercare with your partner as much as what their fetishes and limits are.

Its not complicated.  Like life, always follow your instincts.  My instincts always tell me what I will be able to enjoy and where the boundary lines should be drawn with each person I play with.   Strong communication upfront is the most important thing and I know the times I didn’t have that…the scene didn’t go as well as I wanted.   The expectations I have are exactly what they should be – that we will both derive mutual pleasure from the situation, nothing more nothing less.

On a more personal note,  I want to be a pet. I have realized though that while it is fine to have that “goal” the focus should be more on learnings and growth from the journey to get there.  I know, I talk about “the journey” all of the time.  I do that because the nature of BDSM is to be introspective so that your vulnerability can be a richer gift to those you choose to share it with.   One of the most potent things I have learned is the journey is not about you.  When you give and are selfless it is the realization that sacrificing one’s needs for that of another  will give you the satisfaction that your needs, are indeed, being met.

Nic Chagall  – “What you need”

Yours truly,

your kinky courtesan xx