I am not quite sure what it is I want.  Correction, I know what I want but I am afraid to ask for it. Does that make me a coward? Fear is an empowering tool when wielded the right way.   I talk about vulnerability and courage throughout this blog because it is not only a fundamental to truly successful power exchange relationships but also of situations we face in our regular lives.

This fearful feeling always exists somewhere in my body  – in my head, my heart, my gut…sometimes it churns simultaneously in all 3 places. It wanes and begs to be released. I am careful to recognize it and not to confuse it for excitement, anticipation or even anxiety. Its just a natural reaction to level of calculate risk that dangles out there, teasing and taunting me. Lack of control.  Fear of the unknown. They typical stuff…  I have discovered there is a 1:1 relationship between fear and vulnerability – the more you put yourself out there, the fearful feelings diminish.  Carpe diem…as the saying goes.

When you look in the mirror, what do you see staring back at you?  It is natural for us to see a version of ourselves..in some cases it is an aspiration version and in others it is a more critical one.  Rarely, thought do we stare back and allow ourselves to be open enough to see who we simply for what is staring back at us…and I am not talking just about what is skin deep.  There are quite a few cliches around the theory of knowing and understanding oneself before anyone else can truly appreciate what you have to give.  I think it begins and ends with a little reflection.

I do believe the world around you reacts differently to you when you accept what is.

What I have written here is obvious and not a revelation.   This was still a difficult piece to write.  I choose to share inner thoughts because many people have shared privately with me that it has helped them to think differently.

Thank you for your continued support.

Music mood:  Above & Beyond ” You Gotta Go” (acoustic version)

Yours truly,

your kinky courtesan xx