I love, love, love Master P’s blog Dominationsubmission because he speaks with candor and empathy for all experience levels on a subject that is dear to my heart, power exchange. In fact, a recent post came through my reader, “New Master and Experienced submissive” that caught my attention and I thought I would be so bold to piggyback on this thoughts. You know… being an experienced submissive… 😉
The advice Master P. gives are the fundamentals. Listen to your instincts. Don’t let your ego trump areas where you may be feeling vulnerable due to lack of knowledge. Swim in that vulnerability and allow it to guide you…it will lead you to the path of wisdom and skill. Finally, educate yourself through the stories of others. This DOES NOT mean find a mentor. Let another’s stories spark your imagination so that you develop your own style.
Personally, power exchange is the ultimate for me. I know as an “experienced submissive” I want a relationship that has that element to it. I do not want one that is 24/7. It is all about subtlety. There are signals that may pass between my Master and I at any given moment, in any given place, that tell me my place. It could be as subtle as his hand lightly grasping the nape of my bare neck…or as obvious as instruction to spread my legs wide for him as we sit across from each other, sharing a meal.
I believe we are born with various instincts. The primal/carnal variety can be molded in various ways and to certain degrees of prominence. The most important thing is to not let it overwhelm you. It is a journey and like most journeys, they are meant to be deliberate, a bit contemplative and most of all fun. You are a Master because you have needs/desires to control another’s sexuality and perhaps more…but it comes from a place of truth. You are not a Master because you like to inflict pain or humiliate someone. That makes you a Sadist. You are not a submissive or a slave because you are weak or wish to be tortured, physically or emotionally. This is merely a masochist. Yes, to each his own but that is not the part I am interest in delving in to..as I am neither.
While limits are important, don’t be afraid to break them. Safety first always. The mental volley with a potential partner should be the priority before anything physical happens. Anticipation and trust are strong aphrodisiacs. As you build trust it is natural to try things you once said you would “never do.” I can tell you that my hard limits used to be knife play, fire play and watersports… and now they are among my favorite things to experience with a Master. Then you are only limited to how much your imagination and budget can bear. Good toys are expensive.
There is carnal nature in all of us waiting to be shaped. The only question is… into what??
The key to great power exchange lies in the openness and vulnerability of the individuals. Learn to understand and appreciate yourself first. The best “moments” we experience together come from revelations we have within ourselves.
your kinky courtesan xx