The title is an ode to one of my most sacred friends. We had a long, boozy, faux-Parisian lunch today (he is French). The only kind to have in NYC.
There are some friends you never have to translate with. Ironically, I met him on Craig’s List. He posted an ad for a fluffer for his bi gang bangs 3 years ago. I answered. We proceeded to become extremely close – as slaves, as friends. He is an overachiever, highly accomplished in his professional field, on one side, v. plain vanilla and on the other wickedly deviant. I admired his understanding of himself and his ability to recognize and respect both sides. He realizes it is as important to nurture the deviant side because it enables him to do a better job being just plain, well, vanilla. He serves exclusively to a Mistress. He is her property.
50 Shades of Grey this story is not. Black and blue is more like it….
He was with me through the genesis of my relationship with T. I can remember having hot sauce on my pussy, and a beer bottle in my ass. We were in the slave army, serving as two. It was so much fun..Hard but worth the rewards….We laughed and cried at many of the moments we shared. They were incredibly intimate but at the same time, that’s the life.
Then we drifted apart. Perhaps it was two slaves finding their way on different paths. He was always so certain about his calling as a slave. I always struggled. I loved the life but felt more at a home as a switch, with the ability to ebb and flow into the role as it was needed. I realize that something so DEFINED was what intimidated me. It took a lot of courage to come to that conclusion. I wore my slave badge so proudly and in the end, she still exists but in a more ambiguous way.
In one of my favorite books, The Alchemist, we learn that when we really desire something, the universe conspires to make it happen. I believe in this way I am always protected. I gave up an entire career in digital media to be on my own. That was 3.5 years ago. Life is not always easy but its freeing. You can’t put a price on that.
I am not suggesting that people follow my lead and give up a regular life for an alternative one. My friend even said to me that one of the most amazing things about me is how I live my life with such conviction. I make it look so easy. That’s the point, though. You have to know where you want to go. Where is your true north? Follow that and it will give you peace…even if that true north isn’t the shortest distance between two points… When it is time to change courses, the universe will tell me that too… You just have to be clear on the signs. In fact, now I am slowly transitioning as the signs slowly reveal themselves…
your kinky courtesan xx