In my new audio series “Gentleman’s Agreement: Regular Men from Twitter,” I had the pleasure of having a real southern gentleman as my inaugural guest. Jaxon, @onowine, is a mid-50’s gentleman, who loves cowboy boots, his black lab and big, bold Silver Oak Cabernet.
Kerouac, Fitzgerald, Space Porn, Hi Bob…And Cowboy Boots?
Never underestimate a Texan. Don’t worry he gave some great recommendations for cowboy boots, restaurants, how to build a network and not eat with your mouth open.
“Ono” means “good” in Hawaiian. Wading into the the deep end was fun with @onowine. Give us a listen!
Lately, I have been thinking about the phrase, “I love you.” A phrase, I have only used, as an adult, when my heart, head,gut and even my soul are in alignment. Actually, that is not true. I have often said because it was said to me first. How often have you said it just because someone said it to you first?
I had my first boyfriend when I was 14. He told me he loved me. We would spend hours on the phone at night (this was before call waiting, when friends would make emergency breakthroughs). Up until a few years ago, the 4.5ft pink bunny he gave me for Easter was still at parents house. It was easy to say I love you then, to write long letters, notes in yearbooks and of course, parking at the nearby lake. When life is uncomplicated, emotions seem more fluid, weightless even and when it ends the density of it springboards.
Relationships, Like Finer Wines, Can Get More Complex with Age…
Or they turn and go bad. As we get older, the “L” word is reserved for when it really counts. We are much less promiscuous with the phrase. There may be a hope of love and commitment, even expectation, but in the meantime life is well-lived.
Good doesn’t have to be great. Satisfaction is relative. Security is often the mask for love. Its not a bad thing. It is life. The definition is flexible. It needs to be, because as we grow and age so do our desires and needs.
Making the Case for Love Being the Omnipotent Emotion
The golden rule, “love thy neighbor as thyself”; taking the character of love out of the romantic realm, placing it front and center of humanity. This concept that the foundation of life is love. It is our egos that are the armor, sometimes making it difficult to see challenging and vulnerable situations with more flexibility and creativity. Think Amor Fati. Pema Chodron. Let go of noise by taking an extra moment to find a new perspective, find where the sun shines. Love. A life long endeavor indeed!
Cheers to you and the relationships in your life that motivate, and give you momentum. Let us remember the generations before us who built the infrastructure for our cities, so we could enjoy not only flexibility and convenience, but that it would encourage further innovation.
Even if you are not working at what you love, you are working for the people you love.
In this moment, I’m here with you. There is nobody else. There is nowhere else. My hands, my breath, my thoughts, my movements, they are in sync with yours. We are there, immersed in one another. I follow your lead. I succumb to your body and minds cry for attention.
As someone with a fetish for high-performance cars…one thing I love are driving gloves. Yes, some may say they are a bit over the top but the feel of such supple, buttery leather against the steering wheel, providing just the right amount of “stickiness” as you take those tight turns…
It is a great fantasy of mine for a man to tease me in a beautiful suit, completing the look with driving gloves. The feel of buttery leather on my skin…running his hand up my legs…
Seriously, some of my best memories are sitting in the passenger seat of fast, high-performing car while a capable, confident, sexy man has his foot on the gas.
But I digress…
Back to the Purpose of the Driving Glove.
A thoroughbred of car deserves the right handling. Limit hand fatigue. Protect the interior of your car. Look good. Are these enough reasons to invest in a gorgeous pair of driving gloves? Be bold. Be traditional. Red or British tan. Your car should fit like your glove, after all.
Only the Road Ahead. You and Your Driving Gloves.
Enzo Ferrari said, ” what’s behind you doesn’t matter.”
Your rearview is small for a reason. The open road ahead is wide, wide open. Your steering. The smooth leather of your gloves emboldens the performance and navigation. The tires grip hard under your pressure. Poetic confidence in the making. We can underestimate the power of small things on the bigger picture.
Live in stoicism. We are human, perfectly imperfect, finding our own way, which sometimes is a longer journey. Our battles are own. We decide how circumstances will affect us. The power we hold is nobody’s to take away. As human beings, we may feel defeated at times, we almost thrive in the complex but simplicity is always the answer. Our perspective can shift and our circumstances will too.
It is a process. For many of us, we re-learn it over and over again. Amour fati – love where you are. Believe there is always something to be thankful for, even when we feel the harshest of life thrust upon us.
Most importantly, no man is an island. Our perspective is dynamic and our behavior plays off of our relationships. A little effort pays off.
We can’t help ourselves. What is familiar, what is comfortable determines much of how we live our lives, as well as the relationships we keep. This can sometimes be to our detriment. Shenpa is the feeling of being “stuck.” The emotional grab when we feel our back is against the wall. The familiarity of our weaknesses creeping in, and there we are, almost instinctive in behavior. There is comfort even in dysfunction.
Is it time to get intimate with what is uncomfortable?
Inspired by a post from a fellow companion, Olivia Sinclair, I wanted to talk about a deeply held fetish of mine, Pet Play. As some of you know or have ventured to read, I was at one point, in a very captivating power exchange relationship. When that ended, many years ago, I tucked that part of myself away. On a rare occasion, however, I would meet someone who was able to tap into that energy and level of intimacy that made those desires blossom.
Fetish to me is the personification of the deepest, most vulnerable parts of who you are on a subconscious level. We don’t think about it, it just is.
Hear my thoughts on a fetish that is rarely shared.