THANKSGIVING KICK-OFF: WHEN A STRANGER CALLS

Small gestures make big impacts. If there is one takeaway from the holidays, it is that. We underscore charity, gratitude and a little extra warmth – in our smiles, in correspondence, in our overall behaviors.

We all have the same amount of minutes and hours in a day. Perhaps if we use them a bit more creatively, a small unexpected gesture will go a long way. Remember, we never know what is behind that smile, so never take what is on the surface for granted.

Now, listen closely…

MORNING LOVE: LOSS, PAIN & RESILIENCY

The holidays tend to take on a life of their own. The blessing of togetherness and gratitude. Why am I having dreams about the loss of my relationships then? My day to day feels light but subconscious is like Beetlejuice, ready to resurrect trouble.

Complex emotions have deep roots that aren’t easily severed. If we aren’t careful, we can get tangled and strangled. Recognize that these complex emotions are alchemical – good, bad or ugly.

Listen closely and when in doubt, like a wave, ride it and let it carry you…

CASE OF THE MONDAYS: AN ORDINARY WORLD

“If you pursue happiness, you are an ordinary person. If happiness pursues you, you are an extraordinary person. Do not chase happiness; let it chase you.”

Peter Deunov

Happiness, I believe, is the preliminary stage to contentment. It is the verb to the noun. A first taste to get us motivated to live our lives differently. In the extraordinary way. A life lived, not so we can be admired but only to enjoy inner peace.

It does exist! Listen closely.

THE ACRONYMS OF INTIMACY: HOW TO NAVIGATE MODERN INTIMACY

We love our acronyms. We love to invent and modify our vocabulary. The colloquial becomes colloquial, and it seems as if every generation tries to define themselves through their own developed vernacular.

Letters Don’t Make Love. People Do.

I used the term “make love.” It happens from time to time. The urge to get close. Real close. Feel that bond. There are moments between people, not necessarily bonded for long but perhaps by intensity. The phrase has slipped out of my mouth from time to time.

Be careful, though with the starker side of intimacy. The need to classify and label.

It’s all too easy to label. GFE. PSE. DFK. A number of letter combinations that people use to describe intimacy from the conversation to bare-skin moments. Oh, how the alphabet can cheapen pleasure for pleasure’s sake. Call me old-fashioned but generalizing intimacy is like generalizing wine…its something to special and unique to brush with too wide of strokes.

Let’s Not and Say We Never Did. Oh, But We Did.

I think we have all been guilty of cheapening our own experiences. Its too easy not too. How do we now its special if we haven’t tasted the other side?

The awkwardness of a stranger, we have all had the sex-by-alphabet experience, and I am not referring to Sam Kinison. Its the called “the girlfriend experience” not “the girlfriend” for a reason. A mimic of out-of-body. A part of you is not there even in the conversation. It glides to easily, without scratching the surface. A part of you goes through the motions, deftly, of course and unsuspecting. Sex is sex after all, still good in the worst of times. Its why you just want it, and the “intimacy” is merely flesh meeting.

Acknowledge it. Own it. Then find the enrichment that puts it and you front and center. Its still good…

A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Bedroom…

Magic does happen. Stars do align. Good becomes fantastic. Unbelievable. The best part is that it can happen in minutes, and not necessarily taking years to unfold. I think they call it, “enchantment.” The enchantment often likes quietly in what is hidden, waiting for the right moment to blossom.

However, it doesn’t happen without openness and vulnerability. You give to receive. Though it may not be 1:1, your level of openness to the unknown, the ability to relax into our own insecurities and those unfamiliar situations, will allow the enchantment in. Let’s face it, we all need a little enchantment in our lives…

I v. WE: FINDING & BUILDING THE ARCHITECTURE OF HAPPINESS

Lately, I have been having these weird dreams about my ex-husband. It happens from time to time, so I thought I would look a bit deeper and talk to you about it.

Relationships is that social architecture that continues to be studied, and in some facets, remains a mystery. What makes relationships dynamic is the imperfection of the people in them. This is not a slight on anyone, but another opportunity, to look at love differently. It is easy to see this dynamic as a dichotomy; I v. we. It is no secret that no matter what you accomplish as an “I”, an average “we” is better.

Listen to my Sunday’s thoughts and I would love to hear yours.